- That's a dead end. - Come on, Shrek.
Who needs a map when you've got animal instinct?
- Darn bugs. stupid map. - Hey, what the... Uh-oh.
- Come on! - Shrek, a little help here!
All right. Will you...
Oh, I say we take the 10 to the 305
and get off at Fairy Tale Falls.
- What are you talking about? - Or we could fly there.
Is there an off button on you?
Aw, what's wrong, princess?
You shouldn't be this unhappy until years into the marriage.
It's the happiest day of my life.
Oh! Oh! Let me guess. You're overwhelmed by love?
No! I mean, yes. But that's not why...
The shrimp platter was bad?
- No, donkey! I'm just... - Wait! Wait! I got it! I got it!
You always wanted a puppy, but all you got was toasters!
No, I'm sitting in an onion!
This carriage is one big onion.
Oh, why didn't you say so? I'll turn on the air.
- Much better. - Noble steed at your service.
Would you look at that? Donkey! I found a shortcut.
- Ah! Are you crazy? - Jumping jiminy, that's a big one.
What? Hey, man, I hate spiders!
Stop that, would you? Where'd he go?
You are too easy to scare. Come on.
That forest could be hexed or voodooed or anything!
I ain't going in there.
Listen, I'm an ogre. I'm the one that does the scaring.
What is there to be scared of?
- That! - Thelonius!
- Hey, what are you doing? - Sorry, princess, honeymoons are over.
- Let go! - Shrek!
- Fiona! - Shrek!
- Fiona! - Let me go!
- To the carriage! - Shrek!
We got a donkey driving a carriage made from an onion.
It's dark and our horses are wearing sunglasses.
Cut to the chase, donkey! Just cut to the chase.
Hit it, boys!
- Fiona! - Shrek!
Help!
All done. Oh, no. No!
No!
You're gonna get an elbow to the groin!
- That was close. - Aw, now that's sweet.
- Shrek? Shrek! - Watch out!
Licorice?
Hey, Shrek! I hope you're insured!
That house cost me a lot of dough!
Is there a doctor in the house?
Hey, sorry about that ginger...
Oh, that's gross.
Oh, no!
I can see! I can see!
Oh! Oh, never mind.
Fiona!
Shrek, this isn't another one of those shortcuts, is it?
Just get a move on.
- Ok. I'm not afraid. - Ugh. Fiona!
I can do this. I'm a noble steed.
It's all right. It's just a park
with no children and no playground.
Ah! Shrek! Shrek!
I feel dead people.
Are you getting the willies? The trembles?
The shakes? The heebie-jeebies?
Stop messing with me, Shrek.
This place is aready creeping me out.
Aw, don't tell me you're afraid of ghosts.
Uh... I'm not afraid.
What a crack-up!
Shrek? Shrek! Wait up!
Talk about rewriting history.
Well, looks like Farquaad's still
trying to compensate for something.
I wonder what that could be.
I don't know. This is just plain freaky.
I wonder if he's behind of this.
Oh, that's just crazy talk.
Now I'm seeing things. Can we get out of here? Please?
Sure. Of course.
Now, you wouldn't happen to have
another carriage in your pocket, would you?
Donkeys don't have pockets.
But some of us do have wings!
- Uh-oh! Wrong dragon! - Wrong whistle.
- Farquaad? - What have you done with my wife?
Your wife? Don't you mean your widow?
I know I seen you die in the first movie!
You fools! This time it's your turn to be the entrée!
OK, my sweet, take care of them! Bon appétit.
Will you stop that?
Shut it!
- You can go first. I'll be the dessert. - Oh, great.
Whoo! That's my girl!
Hey, baby, I was hoping you'd show up!
- Princess at three o'clock. - Shrek!
- Hi, princess! - Fiona!
Oh, no. Shrek!
Oops. Sorry.
Coming in!
- Dive! Dive! - Got it. Dive! Dive!
This is red dragon. We're going in.
Evasive action!
Lock and load!
Stay on target. Stay on target!
Stay on target! Act wings! Now.
On my mark, retract wings! Now!
Turn and burn!
Smooth move, ex-lax.
Like I always say, behind every successful donkey,
there's a fire-breathing dragon.
You might as well stop struggling, princess.
Soon you and I will be together forever.
With you as my spirit queen, I'll be king of the underworld!
Over my dead body!
Exactly. Over she goes, Thelonius.
- Thelonius? - Sorry, princess.
No, you nitwit! Not with you on it!
What?
Deserved that. And that, too.
No, you numbskull!
- Sorry, Thelonius. - oh, well, never mind him.
- See you on the other side, princess. - Never!
Stop playing hard to get.
- Stop it! - You know I'm irresistible.
- Fiona! - Shrek!
Impossible! I thought they were dragon food!
We'll save you!
- Are you ok? - I think so.
I don't think so!
Splendid! They all fall for me sooner or later.
- Fiona! - Yes, Shrek!
My short, furry life is flashing before my eyes!
- I love you! - I love you, too!
Fiona? My ghostly queen? Where are you?
Right over here, sweetie.
Oh, my angel.
Oh, no. Not again!
We've got a loaded dragon here.
And we're not afraid to use it.
It was just a joke. Stay away from me!
- Fire! - No! no!
No!
Thanks, dragon.
And thank you, donkey. You truly are a noble steed.
Look at you, donkey, all covered in fur. I love you!
Shucks. I think I'm gonna cry.
Come on, baby, let's go home.
Let's go home and make some waffles!
- Waffles? - It's a long story.
Finally, we're alone.
- Oh! what are you doing? - Uh... nothing.
Let the honeymoon begin!